Guide to Anal play

I will put my hands up and admit that I am a huge fan of anal play, not only does it significantly increase pleasure but with it being taboo it makes it so much more naughtier.

Yet to a beginner it can be an incredibly daunting experience to try and who can blame them for feeling like this? Being brought up with the notion that the anus is dirty and a no go area, it is understandable why many of us is/was so reluctant to try anal play. In my late teens I vowed I would never do anything that involves anal. The thought of it just grossed me out and I believed the only thing I would gain from it would be excruciating pain.

It wasn’t until my early twenties that I became comfortable with the idea of anal play, by then it was becoming more popular and more advice was giving on the practice than ever before. There are many ways to get started in anal play; some people prefer just to go straight into it with a partner whilst others like to explore themselves first.

Lubricant

Lubricant is a must for anal play; unlike the vagina the anus doesn’t create hardly as much lubrication so it needs a lot of it for you to have a comfortable experience. You may see in porn films that they only use saliva, this however is not true and most porn stars are lubricated beforehand.

There are many types of lubricants on the market for anal play: Lubricants designed for anal are usually silicone based and have a much thicker consistency than others. Water based lubricants are also good for anal play but tend to dry out much more faster than silicone so you will regularly have to add more. Flavored lubricants, heated lubricants and tingly lubricants can cause irritation so they are definitely a no go in that department.

Fingers v toys

Whether you use fingers or a toys is your own choice, I personally went for toys first but fingers are just as good. Before you insert make sure that your toys or fingers are clean and lubricated. There are many beginner toys on the market now for anal play and they come in all different shapes, sizes and materials but remember that jelly and rubber materials are more porous so you may need to put a condom on it. After use, always wash your toy with warm/hot water and a sex toy cleaner. It is also a good idea to never share your anal toys or use them for vaginal insertions.

Men can also get in the act of anal play too, with many toys now designed to stimulate the prostate gland.

Rimming

You either love it or hate it but rimming is when you lick around the anus. This can be quite daunting to most and it is understandable why. If you are curious about rimming (either receiving or giving) but nervous then preparation is key. Washing yourself before the act can make you feel more comfortable and confident with it. Others douche before any rimming or anal play. Douches are great if you like to feel clean inside but be aware that it is not healthy to douche everyday as it can damage your anus’s own naturally lubrication.

Relax

One of the most important things to do in anal play is to relax. If you are tensed up then your anus will be tense too, making it harder to insert you’re toy/finger but can also cause discomfort and possible damage in anal play. I found that masturbating first helped me a lot to de-tense plus using plenty of lubrication.

Rome wasn’t built in a day

Some people can go straight into anal play with no discomfort whilst others like me needed more time. Don’t be discouraged if you was unable to fully insert anything into you’re anus, with more practice it really does become easier J .

If at any point you do feel discomfort or pain then stop immediately, this is a sign that you’re anus can’t cope with the adjustments just yet. When removing your finger or toy always remove it slowly, as pulling it out quickly could not only be painful but cause some damage.

Thank you for reading my blog 🙂

Love Vivienne Violet

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The history of sex toys

We are led to believe that sex toys are a 20th century invention, becoming more popular in the 21st century and although it may be correct to say they are more popular now than ever before they are certainly not a recent invention.

The oldest sex aid in the world was discovered in Germany and is around 35,000 years old. Archeologists discovered the nude figurine of a female with large breasts and a large vulva and believe with how sexualized the figurine is that the cave men used these as a 3D pornographic image.

Phallus windchime from Druid England.

Phallic wind chime from Druid England.

In England the Druids would have bronze phallus wind chimes hanging outside their home, it was thought that an erect penis was a lucky charm and would ward of evil. The Greeks and Romans also believed that erect penises were a sign of good fortune and would decorate their home and furniture with penises and even wore jewelry displaying them.

Being a huge history geek as well as a sex toy fan I was curious to see what aids they used, surely they must have had some kink in their lives? So I was pleasantly surprised to find that they were just as kinky as we are today.

The Dildo

The first documented dildo in the world was from ancient Greece 500BC. Made of wood, these dildos were relatively small as the ancient Greeks believed that large penises were of beasts (Hmm I know what I would prefer). Called the Olisbos, merchants would sale these dildos to single women and women whose husbands had gone away to war. The women would also share the dildos between them (ick).

Ancient painting of a Greek woman using two Olisbos (dildos)

Ancient painting of a Greek woman using two Olisbos (dildos)

It wasn’t until the 1400’s in renaissance Italy that the name Olisbos was changed to Diletto (dildo). The Italians also made other changes to the dildo, they started making them not only out of wood but also leather and exaggerated the size so much that the dildos had to be used with olive oil for lubrication.

The vibrator

It is rumored that Cleopatra was the first ever vibrator owner. Using a calabash filled with live bees, Cleopatra would use the vibrations to help stimulate her. Let’s just hope none of the bees ever got loose from the calabash at the time.

Cock ring

Invented in China around 1200, the men would use eyelids of goats (yes you heard correct). Tying the eyelids around the base of their penis, it helped them not only maintain an erection but also increased pleasure. They also kept the eyelashes intact as it stimulated the clitoris. The cock ring became so popular in China that it became a status symbol with the wealthy purchasing cock rings made of ivory and other exotic materials to crown their very own jewels.

Ben Wa Balls

Originating from Japan in 500AD, the Ben Wa Balls were made of ivory, china, gold, silver and other materials. Originally a sex toy designed for men to increase pleasure through intercourse, they soon discovered that they not only stimulated the woman but also helped work her pelvic floor muscles. In the 20th century Ben Wa Ball became increasingly popular worldwide.

The first ever steam powered vibrator. Used to treat hysteria.

The first ever steam powered vibrator. Used to treat hysteria.

The steam powered vibrator

In the Victorian era it seemed that hysteria was growing rife. Hysteria (now known as just being horny and not a medical condition) was then classed as an illness that afflicted itself upon women, causing them to become irritable, restless, having a heavy pelvis and sexual fantasies. Doctors would often use their hands to help the patients but with so many women walking through their doors, their hands became increasingly tired.

It wasn’t until 1869 that an American physician called Dr George Taylor created the steam powered vibrator to help his colleagues.

This is just a few of the sex toys I have discovered from the past but I am sure there are plenty more to learn about. Do you know of any other sex toy history? Or other aids that our ancestors had created or used? If so let us know in the comments below 🙂

Thank you for reading my blog.

Vivienne Violet x

Review: Tracey Cox Kegel balls

I have been doing my kegel exercises for many years now without any aid but I decided to buy some kegel balls to not only give my pelvic floor muscles more of a work out but to also see how strong they are and if they gave me that pleasurable feeling that I have often heard raved about.

There is a massive selection of kegel balls on the web; different sizes, weights, materials and to be honest I found it all very confusing in which one would suit me.

I finally came across Tracey Cox’s Supersex Toner Balls on lovehoney.co.uk which seemed the most suitable. Stating on the description that it is perfect for beginners to intermediate and made of silicone I decided to give them a go.

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Description

The Tracey Cox kegel balls arrived with a satin drawstring bag and were contained in a plastic case. The balls are made of hypoallergenic silicone and hard plastic and come in hot pink. They weigh 78g and are 7inches insertable and 4.5inch in girth.

How to use

To use the Tracey Cox toner balls is very easy; just insert one ball at a time into your vagina until both balls are fully secured inside. The silicone string will hang out making it easier for you to remove them. Once the balls are inside you just squeeze your vaginal muscles together and then release and repeat. Make sure the toner balls stay in you whilst doing this for a better work out. Some women find the kegel balls stay snug inside them whilst others find they start to fall out, this is perfectly fine and natural.

You may also find that you need to lubricate the kegel balls before inserting, because they are made out of silicone it is best to avoid silicone based lubricants but to use water based ones instead. You can wear the kegel balls for however long you like and as they are discreet you can go out wearing them without anyone noticing.

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My verdict

I was surprised to find how large the Tracey Cox’s toner balls were when they first arrived; I expected them to be a bit smaller. They have a good weight to them and felt velvety soft which is a plus for me. I also liked how it was all in one piece rather than string; it reassured me that they wouldn’t accidentally break of when inside me.

I had to use a lubricant to insert the toner balls as I found them to big to insert without lubrication. Once they were inserted they did feel very snug inside me and whilst doing my kegel exercise I could feel my pelvic floor really working. They were so comfortable inside me that I completely forgot about them until 2 hours later. When it came to orgasm I didn’t achieve any, although I did feel them jiggle when I ran up the stairs they didn’t give me anything orgasmic but they did make me feel aroused which would make them a good preparation tool before sex. Another plus with these Toner balls is that they are very quiet when inside the vagina so no one will hear you wearing them; I wore them whilst I went to my local shop and got no strange looks but they did make me feel very naughty to go out in public wearing them. Removing them was super easy, all I had to do was pull the silicone string gently and they popped out. Being smooth they are easy to clean, I just used some warm water and sex toy cleaner and dried them off, I also like how they came with there own little storage bag.

The Tracey Cox’s toner balls are a good choice for a beginner or someone who often uses them because they are a good weight and easy to clean, they may be on the big side for some but lubricant can help with that.

Tracey Cox Supersex Toner balls £18.99

Thank you for reading my Blog :).

Love Vivienne Violet

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The sexy outdoors

Sex outdoors is probably one of the most common fantasies we all share and who can blame us? I don’t know whether it’s the fresh air, feeling the sun on our bodies or going back to basics but sex outside is not only fabulous but highly erotic and with the risk of getting caught it just adds to the excitement.

So with summer finally here should we be having some fun in the sun? My answer is yes so I have written some useful tips to help you get started.

Location

It is always a good idea to know you’re location beforehand; this will not only help you in not getting lost but to also know how regularly the location is used by the public or if it is overlooked.

Once you know you’re area and surroundings find a nice secluded spot for where you plan to have sex. Woodlands are great for offering cover but be aware that some woodlands like fields are privately owned, if this is the case then I’d suggest staying away from those places as you don’t want to be met with an angry resident (this happened to a friend of mine who was disrupted by an angry farmer).

Preparation

For outside sex it is best to wear some quick slip on clothes, you need to be able to cover yourself quickly incase you get disrupted, so put down those skinny jeans and say hello to the maxi dress.

Bringing a blanket is also a good idea, not only will it save your clothes from getting dirty but will make the experience much more comfortable and let’s face it, there really is nothing more of a turn off than having ants and other insects crawling around your naked skin.

Time and day

If you are planning some night time fun then it is advisable that you do check over your location first, not only is it easier to get lost at night but that pleasant and peaceful area you saw during the day could be something completely different at night.

If you are going during the day then try and stay away from public footpaths or busy locations, it is against the law to have sex in public view so keep hidden and go at times when it is the quietest.

I have had sex in quite a few places; car park, public restroom, field, construction site, lorry (yes you heard correct a lorry but that is a different post all together) but woodlands are by far my favorite place for some discreet fun.

It is of course understandable that we do just get carried away in the heat of the moment, I have plenty of times but when planning to have sex outside I always do the above first. Don’t be put off if you have never had sex outdoors though. Sex outside can be refreshing and incredibly exciting which can leave you not only giggling about it for weeks to come but leave you wanting more.

So let’s make the most of this summer and go for some kinky exploring, just remember that if you are using a condom to dispose of it in a bin rather than leaving there, we don’t want to hurt the wildlife.

Thank you for reading my blog 🙂

Love Vivienne Violet

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Review: Lovehoney’s G-Twister Rabbit

Most of us have had that moment when we reach for our favorite vibrator only to discover that it has died. Grieve turns to frustration and then to anger when you discover that you’re vibrator is no longer being manufactured. That’s what happened to my rabbit and let me tell you that I was not a happy bunny.

I am selective when it comes to rabbit vibrators, I find some rabbit ears are just too far apart for me to feel anything on my clitoris, others are to firm which gives me the feeling that I am being stabbed (ouch) and some just don’t have a powerful enough vibration. Then we come to the shaft of the rabbit, some are just impossible to insert or to short.

It took me a couple of months to find a rabbit that would suit me, I needed something that was firm and easy to insert (no little ball bearings for me), had strong vibrations (the stronger the better) and no little sharp or wide ears. I came across one rabbit vibrator on lovehoney.co.uk that although it looked slightly more intimidating than other rabbits it was the closet match to what I was looking for.

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Description

The G-Twister rabbit doesn’t look like a regular rabbit. Hot pink in colour the shaft of this rabbit it slightly hooked to give you better G-spot stimulation and has smooth bumps on the head to give more pleasure. The shaft can be rotated clockwise and anti-clockwise and can go up to three speeds. The clitoral stimulator is in the shape of a thumb and has nubs on it to give you a more vigorous massage and also has a three speed setting for vibrations. The control on this rabbit is easy to use and you can not only use both settings together at different speeds but also separately.

Made of skin safe rubber, the G-Twister is just over 10 inches in length (insertable 4 inches) and just under 5 inches in girth. This rabbit is submersible so you can use it in the shower and it takes three AA batteries.

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My verdict

I admit that I was skeptical when I first bought this rabbit and slightly anxious about the bumps and nubs, so I was relieved when the G-twister arrived to discover that it wasn’t as intimidating as I thought it would be. Although the bumps and nubs are firm they are also flexible and soft to touch compared to other rabbits ears that I have tried in the past.

To use this rabbit I did need to use some lubricant, the bumps on the shaft made it quite difficult for me to insert and slightly uncomfortable but when used with a water based lubricant it was much easier for me to fully insert and left me with no discomfort. At first I started to play with the shaft settings, starting on the lowest setting and working my way up to the highest, by being hooked shaped this shaft was excellent at massaging my G-spot and the little bumps I believed had a lot to do with this. I then decided to try the clitoral settings and ‘wow’ these are some powerful vibrations. My anxiousness for the nubs disappeared, they won’t uncomfortable nor did they poke my clitoris but gave me amazing stimulation. I managed to go up to the highest setting and orgasmed within 5 minutes.

I am highly impressed with this rabbit; it is by far better than my old one and has firmly become my favorite. I have used this rabbit a lot since and every time I have it has delivered amazing clitoral and G-spot orgasms.

Another positive to this rabbit is that it’s not as loud as I thought; if anything it is quiet which makes it perfect if you have others in the house. It is also waterproof but I haven’t tested this yet. If you are a rabbit fan or enjoy rough clitoral and G-spot play then I would recommend this rabbit to you, you will be surprised with how much punch this toy has. Costing £39.99 from lovehoney.co.uk or if your in the US costing $59.99 from lovehoney.com, this certainly is a must have for those who like it rough.

Thank you for reading my blog.

Love Vivienne Violet

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Tie me up….

I never thought much of bondage before, it wasn’t until I done modeling and was asked to collaborate with a photographer who’s specialty was shooting bondage/erotic art that I became interested in the whole bondage scene.

Scrolling through countless photographs he had produced, I was mesmerized; his work was so feminine, so beautiful yet so erotic. I agreed to collaborate with him, it didn’t take much to persuade me and I knew it would be a nice touch on my portfolio that mainly consisted of glamour, fashion and artistic nudity.

During the shoot I learnt of the different restraints used: fabric, rope, leather, chains, handcuffs and bondage tape. I never knew there were such a large variety of restraints and digging deeper I learnt of more bondage equipment such as leg spreaders, collar’s and leashes and ball gags.

The photo’s we produced were a success and even made it into an exhibition, with this success I worked with more photographers of this genre and even got bondage freebies after the shoots. I also started to buy bondage equipment myself for the photo shoots yet I still wasn’t fully satisfied; it was one thing posing with the equipment but what I really wanted to do was try the equipment.

It wasn’t until I met a man (let’s call him Joe) who was willing to try a bit of bondage with me that I finally got my wish. We started of slowly at first, a handcuff here, a spanking paddle there but before we knew it we were going full out in our fantasies. Joe loved being the dominant partner, which was good for me as I was much more aroused by being the submissive one.

Each time we had sex we became more adventurous and risky than the last time yet one thing we always had to do was to tie me up. For me there is nothing more arousing and stimulating than having a man have full control over me, the fact that I didn’t know what he was going to do next was a major turn on and I must admit that I had some of the most intense orgasms ever from being dominated. Joe also found the submissive me incredibly appealing. I asked him one day why he was so attracted to me being the submissive and his reply stunned me a little – I believed the reason was because he was in control, because he had the power over me but it wasn’t, it was the knowing that I fully trusted him that was the most arousing. Joe loved the fact that I trusted him so much that I would allow him to have full control over me and I equally loved the fact that I trusted him so much to know that I, regardless of how it looked; was safe in his presence.

Me and Joe always done bondage safely, we set boundaries and respected them. He knew my pain threshold and limitations and never crossed them, the slightest noise that I would make that wasn’t familiar to him he would stop immediately and ask if I was ok. We had safe words in place but we never felt the need to use them.

Me and Joe eventually came to an end, unfortunately there wasn’t enough bondage tape in the world that could have held us together but my love for bondage still persisted and I have since converted a few others into the world of restraints.

Thank you for reading my blog

Love Vivienne Violet

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