Slut Shaming

One thing that irritates me, no I should say infuriates me is ‘slut shaming’. I have noticed that in the last couple of years it has become more of a common occurrence in society and I have often seen it displayed in public, social media and even the news.

For those of you who do not know what ‘slut shaming’ is, it is a term that is usually aimed towards a female based on her sexuality and the way she conducts herself (either by clothing, make up or behaviour).

‘Slut shaming’ and I use this term loosely is carried out by males and females and it is basically used as a way to demean and degrade someone.

Last year a certain newspaper reported a female who had given oral sex to a certain amount of men in a night club in Magaluf. What I found funny was that the article focused entirely on her and the undertone was very much ‘slut shaming’. What was worse was the publics comments on this girl, how she was ‘easy’ ‘stupid’ ‘how her parents will be ashamed’ ‘how they would disown her if she was theirs’ and so on. Now that is all well and good but may I ask where the uproar on the males who also participated in this act was. Of course, there were hardly any. Not by the public or media, it was all focused on the girl instead.

Now I understand not everyone would do or agree with what this girl did, I wouldn’t do it myself but surely putting it on front page news is just adding and allowing ‘slut shaming’? The media declared that they only used this story to discuss what was happening in young tourist hot spots but if it was just about that then why the young lady in question was the main focus? Why did she and not the others dominate the whole article(s) about it?

When the media starts to ‘slut shame’ it basically gives a green card for others to follow suit, believing that it is ok to do so and just something a female should expect if she gets ‘out of line’ in her sexual conduct. An old female colleague told me that any woman who just has sex with a man who is not a boyfriend is in terms a ‘slut’ and shouldn’t expect not to be called one. I hoped that her opinion was just a one off but I have often come across similar views since from both sexes.

‘Slut shaming’ is just another form of control over a woman’s sexuality and a dangerous one which not only leaves some in isolation but also creates a skewed concept of what is acceptable and not acceptable to women. I wouldn’t know where to start on ending this term, although I do believe if the media stopped doing so then that might stop most of it. To me if a female chooses to wait for marriage or wants a new man every weekend then that is her choice and neither should be criticised for their choices if it is safe and consensual. I have heard some who say they do so (slut shame) out of concern as the young female could be in danger and as much as I can understand why they are saying this, they are basically now just victim blaming (slut shaming and victim blaming are closely linked) and instead of helping the situation, they are just making it a whole lot more worse.

Of course my opinion is just that, an opinion and I am sure many others will have different opinions on this subject but I really do believe that if we want to progress in society and especially against sexism then we really must stamp out ‘slut shaming’ for good.

Thank you for reading my blog 🙂

Love Vivienne Pleasure

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The Institute of Sexology at the Welcome Collection

This weekend I decided to pay a visit to the Institute of Sexology exhibition at the Welcome Museum, London.

Being a massive history fan, especially of social history I was curious to learn of human sexuality and how it has evolved and been studied throughout the centuries. Articles from Marie Stopes who was a campaigner for women’s rights and pioneer in birth control as well as the praise and criticism she faced on her controversial sex manual: Married Love.

You will also find articles on Magnus Hirschfield, Sigmund Freud who declared in the early 1900’s that homosexuality was not of a mental illness and was against it being treated as a crime. Freud who unlike many of his time saw homosexuality as neither dangerous or wrong but as a natural sexual function and was strongly opposed to ‘the gay conversion therapy’ (which was popular of this time) believing it to be a harmful practice.

Alfred Kinsey a sexologist who caused controversy in his human sexuality research in the 1940/50’s and created the Kinsey scale. Plus many more pioneers work on human sexuality being showed at the Institute of sexology exhibition.

Not only does the exhibition only contain articles but also artwork and objects that have played a huge part in our sexuality, such as: The Indian Karma Sutra to Metal spiked cock rings that were used to prevent masturbation, pornography to birth control.

I was amazed at how sexuality has evolved throughout human history, how society has not only shaped sexuality but how sexuality has also shaped us and how religion, medicine and politics play a big influence in what we class as natural and unnatural practices in sex.

The institute of sexology book is on sale at the Welcome Collection

The Institute of Sexology exhibition will be on until the 20th September 2015 at the Welcome Collection, London.

I suggest anyone who is curious about sexology or even just the history of sex to visit as it has a lot to offer in our understanding of sex.

Thank you for reading my blog 🙂

Love Vivienne Pleasure

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Review: Nippleicious Nipple Jewellery

Whilst recently visiting the London Alternative Market (LAM) I came across one store called Nippleicious. I was blown away with the amount of beautiful nipple jewellery they was selling. All hand crafted and unique in design; Nippleicious offer a wide variety of non-invasive nipple jewellery.

Speaking to the lady who handcrafts and sales this jewellery, I was amazed with how strong they was and walked away with a beautiful handcuff nipple set

Noose loose

Noose loose

.Description

Although this may look fragile, don’t be fooled. This nipple jewellery is incredibly tough and made to last. The loop on this nipple jewellery is flexible and strong and tightens easily around you’re nipple without feeling uncomfortable.

The little handcuffs are rigid so they won’t bend or break but are light so they won’t put pressure on your nipples either.

Noose tightened

Noose tightened

How to use

Nippleicious nipple jewellery is incredibly easy to use. Just pull down the bead to loosen the loop and then put the loop over your erect nipples and then pull the bead back up until the loop is firmly around your nipple.

Sometimes the loop may be a bit stiff at the beginning to tighten and loosen but the owner assured me that a tiny bit of baby oil will help and is safe to use on this product.

Nippleicious Nipple Jewellery

My verdict

Having neither of my nipples pierced I have never been able to enhance that area of my body so it was nice to finally find a product that did.

I was quite apprehensive at first, I was worried the nipple jewellery would be fragile but the owner reassured me they weren’t and she was right, these little jewels are tough. After considering if I should buy a pair (which didn’t take me long) I bought a nice little handcuff set that came in their own little red organiser bag.

When I got home I tried out the Nippleicious nipple jewellery on myself; they are incredibly easy to use but I did have to make sure my nipples where fully erect to tighten them around the base otherwise they did slide off when trying to tighten them but once they are firmly around the base of my nipple and tightened they didn’t go anywhere.

The little handcuffs hang nicely and have the words freedom written on them. They are rigid but incredibly light so I never at any point felt them tug or pull at my nipples, making them very comfortable to wear.

Wearing the nipple jewellery was a lot of fun and looked absolutely stunning; they are a great accessory to wear for a certain other person or just for you.

Taking them off was also easy, they left no marks on my skin but they did keep my nipples erect for quite a while afterwards.

I have worn the Nippleicious nipple jewellery a few times now and they are still going strong. I will in the future be buying more nipple jewellery as they have such a wide variety to choose from and I love the fact that they are handcrafted and unique in designs.

I highly recommend Nippleicious nipple jewellery to others who really want to enhance their nipples without having to get a piercing.

Nippleicious Etsy page

Nippleicious Ebay page

Thank you for reading my blog 🙂

Love Vivienne Pleasure

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The man that held the orgasms

(Disclaimer: Names have been changed to protect others identities)

His breath was heavy, so heavy that it gave me goose bumps. His voice was saturated with lust, strong lust, primal lust that one can only get when they are in the peak of passion. I listened to him carefully; I savoured his words as if they were holy.

This was not normal for me, if anything it wasn’t me but this encounter was different; it sparked excitement in me that was unique and new to any other experience I had ever had.

Powerful and articulate, Collin* moved to England 5 months previously from Scotland. He was training on becoming an actor and was regularly in the theatre playing small and sometimes even leading roles.

I had met him when my local theatre house was holding a vintage market. Collin* was by the entrance when he caught my eye; he was tall, with mousy brown hair to his shoulders and piercing blue eyes. He wasn’t the type of man that I normally felt attracted to but there was something about him that lured me in.

After speaking for a while it was obvious the attraction was mutual yet I felt no connection; no connection physically, mentally, emotionally or even spiritually but I felt a connection sexually, a strong connection that surprised me as our conversation had so far been polite.

We later exchanged numbers and although we spoke for a while there was nothing in our conversation that kept me on edge but I lured for him to take me; I was engrossed in fantasies about him yet didn’t care of the conversations that we spoke of.

I was about to cut all ties, believing it was a waste of both our energy when Collin* phoned me, telling me it was time to stop this endless charade and get down to what we really wanted, a night of passion.

In other scenarios I would have taken this as an insult. I am not the type of woman to have one night stands, yes I may have had friends with benefits but never do I just sleep with a random man I had just met, especially if there was no connection in any other department but with such a blunt statement, I was relieved that he also felt the same.

Pressed against the wall, Collin* caressed my breast while biting my earlobe. Although both of us were still fully dressed I could feel his erection through his trousers as he pushed it against my groin. I felt powerless, like I was under a spell of pure lust and passion. We made our way to the bedroom and both dropped to the bed, tearing each others clothes off whilst locked in an embrace. Collins* body was well sculptured, lean and yet strong, you could see the perfectly formed muscles through his flesh. His penis was large and incredibly thick; it was the most beautiful penis I had ever seen.

Fondling his penis in my hands, I played with his penis. Stroking it, licking it, kissing it, sucking it, I could have done so for hours. Collin* was breathing heavily, light groans escaped his lips; I could feel his penis pulsating until he gently yet quickly laid me on my back. Biting my earlobe, Collin* moved down my body, lightly digging his teeth into every sensitive spot he could find. He bit gently on my clitoris then vigoursly swirling his tongue around it until it made my legs tremble, I scurried but he pinned my thighs down with his hands and continued. I was in pure ecstasy and close to having an orgasm when he stopped; he climbed back on top of me and told me firmly ‘don’t you dare come yet!’

Collin* then pushed his large penis deep inside of me, making me squeal with excitement. His thrusts pounded into me, in perfect motion and speed he was hitting my G-spot, I gasped for air, digging my nails into his back as he continued to fuck me at force. I was close again but he stopped, he denied me another orgasm. He turned me over onto my stomach, this time more roughly. He climbed back on top off me and in my ear he told me again ‘don’t you dare come yet!’

Collin* then re-entered his penis, causing me to squeal again as his thighs locked my legs shut. Again he was hitting the spot; he was doing so on purpose. He knew I was close to coming, he could feel my vagina contracting but he kept repeating ‘don’t you dare come yet!’ every time I had a contraction.

‘Why?’ I begged; I felt the orgasm building stronger and stronger inside of me.

Collin* then stopped, again I lost an orgasm and was now starting to become irritable. Collin* pulled me up towards him and started to gently rub his fingers over my clitoris, getting more firmer in his touch he leaned into my ear and in his deep Scottish accent he replied ‘because I want you to have the most earth shattering orgasm of you’re life, so don’t come until I say so’. He was assertive in his words; his fingers were becoming firmer on my clitoris. It felt like torture, a pleasurable torture that I wanted to end yet still continue.

This continued for hours, he brought me to orgasm in so many ways yet deprived me of feeling them. Facing towards the wall he entered me again, his one hand around the back of my neck and his other teasing my clitoris. I could feel his penis pulsating inside of me, my vagina was also contracting strongly, and I could feel it getting warmer. I was close to coming again and just as I was ready for him to deprive me yet of another orgasm he didn’t, instead he whispered the words I had been yearning to hear all night ‘you can come now’

Those words alone set my heart racing. As he pushed his penis in deeper and faster I felt my knees starting to go weak, my groans become louder and my mind become numb. The orgasm was powerful, so powerful that it lasted longer than any other orgasm I had previously experienced. I was panting for breath, shivers went through my body and moans of pleasure escaped my mouth.

Collin* was thrusting erratically, his breathing getting louder and his grip on my neck stronger until he let out a gasp. I felt his penis pulsating in me, his grip on my neck became lose and he buried his head in my shoulder as he let out muffled groans.

We collapsed on the bed after and fell into a deep sleep.

The morning arrived, I woke in a haze, was what happened last night true? Or did I just dream this. I was unsure, until I saw Collin* beside me. He was stirring, I just watched. How could this man who I know nothing about or care to know about give me the best sex of my life? Maybe that was why he could?. Collin* awoke whilst I was getting dressed. I told him I had to go, I had a busy day ahead of me and needed to get home. He smiled; I think we both shared the same feeling. Sex last night was so great that it couldn’t be redone; a morning quickie would ruin it so it is best to stop now.

I left shortly after, I was worried I would feel cheap but I didn’t I felt more alive than I ever had been, I still smile about that encounter to this day.

I have since then not had another one night stand and doubt I ever will again but I don’t regret the night I did, sometimes sexual connection is all some people share, a powerful one that can erupt at any giving moment, so why not make the most of it? Why not for a couple of hours allow yourself pleasure and pleasure only?

Thank you for reading my blog 🙂

Love Vivienne Pleasure

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Sexting

Mobile phones are an essential part of today’s living. We use them for almost everything and anything and that even includes 21st century foreplay: Sexting.

From sending erotic texts that would make E.L James blush to arousing pictures sent to make our partners heartbeat racing, sexting is now so popular that most of us have already participated in it.

Sexting is a great way to add spice to any relationship and a great method of discovering you and your partner’s fantasies.

Below I have written some tips on how to get started in sexting and how to keep safe.

What is sexting good for?

Sexting is a great way in spicing up a relationship. A sensual text or picture will set their heartbeat racing for the rest of the day, knowing what they are coming home too.

Sexting is also another great way of learning of your partner’s likes and fantasies, it can be difficult for the best of us to speak face to face about our kinks, sexting eases off the pressure and makes communication flow more easily.

How to get started

Everyone is different in communicating about sex. Some just lay it out on the table about their wants and needs and get straight in to talking dirty (me be that forward? Never) whilst others need more of a build up and tease beforehand.

What ever your method is, remember to be true to you. Don’t say anything that does not appeal to you, no matter how hot it sounds in writing.

  • Texts

Remember that detail is everything. Sending something such as ‘I want you to gently pinch my nipples, getting more and more firmer until I get goose bumps’ opposed to ‘I want you to pinch my nipples’ is more appealing and sets a better visual.

  • Images

Sending pictures is also a good way to tease. Sending a full vulva/penis shot can be very daunting and many people actually don’t like fully exposed pictures anyway. Instead send subtle yet erotic pictures, pictures like; the inner of you’re thighs, new lingerie laid out on a bed, sextoys, high heels or chest and biceps are a great way of teasing and will leave you’re partner wanting to see more.

Keeping safe

With sending erotic texts and especially pictures you are always exposing yourself to certain dangers. Unfortunately there will always be some people who will use this to exploit or shame others; fortunately there are ways to keeping yourself safe from this.

  • Trust

You should only ever send explicit images or texts of yourself to the ones that you trust. Never send pictures to someone you have just met or has been known to have shown pictures of past partners.

  • Only reveal what you want to reveal

Never send images that you are not comfortable with sending or feel pressured into sending. No one has the right to see certain photos of you, regardless of how long you have known each other or been together.

  • The law

It is now illegal in England and Wales to distribute private sexual images and videos of a person in a sexual act without their consent. Anyone found guilty of distributing such content online can be prosecuted under the revenge porn act and face up to 2 years imprisonment.

Sexting, regardless of how it can be mistreated by some is in general a great way of adding more excitement into a relationship and is loved by many.

So why not send your partner a cheeky and teasing text when they are at work and let them know of the orgasmic fun that waits for them when they get home.

Thank you for reading my blog 🙂

Love Vivienne Pleasure

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Review: Wartenberg Pinwheels

Since getting into BDSM I have become curious in toys that give sensation play, usually pleasure and pain mixed together.

One item that would often pop up would be a Wartenberg pinwheel. Wartenberg pinwheels use to be used as a medical device to test nerve reactions but are now commonly used in BDSM and as sensation toys.

After a couple of months of debating whether this toy really was for me I decided to take the plunge and order one of Bondara.co.uk and I am glad I did.

wartenberg pinwheels

Description

Made of stainless steel; this wartenberg pinwheel is 7 inches in length and has one pinwheel containing 20 pins.

Lightweight to hold, the wartenberg pinwheel handle is engraved so you have a better grip when using this toy.

How to use

Wartenberg pinwheels are incredibly easy to use. Just run the pinwheels over your partners back, arms, legs, buttocks, inner thighs, chest or genitals to give them an amazing pleasurable sensation. If this is you or your partners first time using these pinwheels then start of running them across your partner’s body lightly until they are comfortable with you using more pressure.

Being made of stainless steel, they are also easy to clean. Just boil them in hot water until sterilised.

wartenberg pinwheels

My verdict

Arriving in a pouch, I was impressed with how chic these wartenberg pinwheels actually are. Although they have 20 pins attached they really are not intimidating to a novice in BDSM toys.

The engraving on the handle gave me a good grip and they are light to hold. I tested the pins on myself first and although they are sharp, I didn’t puncture my skin when I really pressed them into my arm; which is a good thing.

Although I can use these pinwheels on myself I never got as good of a sensation until someone used them on me. Having the Wartenberg pinwheels run over my inner thighs gave me an incredibly pleasurable sensation and really heightened my arousal but it was also very relaxing.

Using them on someone else was also enjoyable and arousing too. The wheel of this toy glides smoothly, making the sensation more persistent.

I found the best was to use and receive a wartenberg pinwheel is by not knowing where the pinwheels are going to be used. This increases you or your partner’s anticipation and makes you/them want more.

To clean these Wartneberg wheels was very easy, all I do is boil them in hot water for a couple of minutes until they are sterilised.

I would definitely recommend Wartenberg pinwheels to anyone who is interested in sensation play or just wants to add a bit of spice in the bedroom.

Wartenberg Pinwheels £8.99 Bondara.co.uk

Thank you for reading my blog 🙂

Love Vivienne Pleasure

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Instagram

Not only am I now on Twitter but now I am on

Instagram

I will be able to upload more pictures of the products I am viewing plus more.

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Love Vivienne Pleasure

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Sex toy Storage

Do you just throw all you’re sex toys in together? If you do then stop! Stop right now.

I use to do that myself many years ago when I was unaware of how the different materials reacted together.

I just flung them all in a storage box under my bed and thought nothing of it until one day when I went to get out a vibrator and found this sticky, melted mess in there instead.

It happened to be a jelly cock ring that had melted, another jelly clitoral vibrator which happened to be next to the cock ring also partly melted. At first I couldn’t understand what had happened until I looked it up. I discovered this is a common occurrence if sex toys are left exposed to each other without protection.

I was fortunate that these two sex toys were not my favourites or had I used them much but I would have been absolutely devastated if they were. That is why I now go to extra measures to protect my sex toys from themselves (it’s like a material warfare in my goody box).

Here is some useful tips you can use on protecting you’re sex toys from each other.

  • Original Packaging

Keeping your sex toys in their original packaging is a quick and cost free way of protecting them from other sex toy materials. I have done so in the past but depending on how much space you have, they can take up a lot of unnecessary room.

  • Storage Bags

Storage bags are the most popular methods of storing your sex toys and my most preferred. They not only protect sex toys from damage but are easy to clean and don’t take up any space. You can buy storage bags from many sex toy shops that sale them at affordable prices.

Or if you are good with the sewing machine then you could make your own with any pattern or fabric of your choice.

  • Socks

A useful tip I once learnt was storing sex toys in socks. Just like a storage bag they take up no room and cost very little.

Once you have found your preferred method of storing you’re sex toys you then need to find a place to put them.

I keep mine in a 40 litre storage box with a lid under my bed, personally I would love a trunk (an old antique one) or even better my own sex toy walk in wardrobe but I don’t think that will be happening just yet.

  • Shoe box

Old shoe boxes are great for storing you’re sex toys in, not only are they easily accessible but how many people are going to snoop in a shoe box? The only problem with using a shoe box is how many sex toys you own. If you have a few then a shoe box will work but if you have a lot then that will be a lot of shoe boxes you will need to have.

  • Storage box

A storage box is my most preferred. They are easy to clean, portable, lightweight and come in a choice of colours and sizes. You can even get some that have locks on them. They are great if you have large quantity of sex toys and not a lot of space in your home.

  • Cases

Suitcases are also great, with different sizes to choose from and always guaranteed a lock attached to them. They unlike a storage box can be more difficult to store depending on how much space you already have available though.

That is just a few useful tips on storing your sex toys but I am sure there are many more. If you know of any then let us know in the comments below.

Thank you for reading my blog 🙂

Love Vivienne pleasure

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Review: Lovehoney’s Bondage Boutiques Breathable ball gag

I have been into bondage for quite sometime now and one of the first bondage items I had to buy was a mouth gag.

Being a novice at the time I was unsure on what mouth gag would be most appropriate for me. Did I want a small or large one? Silicone or plastic? Ventilated or non-ventilated? I had many questions I needed answers too.

After much searching and deliberating I came across a mouth gag on Lovehoney.co.uk which looked the most suited to me.

Bondage boutique breathable ball gag

Description

Being just less than 6 inches in circumference, the ball is made of PVC and has ventilation holes in making it easier for the wearer to breathe. The straps to the Bondage boutique breathable ball gag are made of leather and have an adjustable fastening (between 17 to 23 inches) to make it fit more comfortable around the wearers head. Both straps have a metal O ring and a metal buckle. It is designed for beginners but can also be used by those more advanced in BDSM.

How to use

Bondage Boutiques breathable ball gag is really easy to use, just place the ball in you’re mouth and fasten the buckle behind you’re head until it fits firmly in place (never fit the buckle too tightly that it feels uncomfortable, even though it is for BDSM, we don’t want to injure ourselves).

To clean this ball gag is quite simple and I say quite because the ball has ventilation holes; it can be difficult to clean inside them. Use warm water and an antibacterial soap or sex cleaner to clean the ball. Be careful of the straps, being made of leather and metal you don’t want to damage and rust them.

Bondage boutique ball gag

My verdict

I bought the Bondage Boutiques breathable ball gag a few years ago now from Lovehoney and I still remember how nervous I was about receiving them. I didn’t yet try out BDSM and was unsure if they would hurt my mouth or even break my teeth (tiny bit hypochondriacal).

I didn’t need to worry though. The mouth gag was not as intimidating as I thought it was going to be and was made really well. I was very impressed with the quality and as the years have gone on and I have tried many other gags I still am happy with how well the Bondage Boutiques breathable ball gag is made.

The straps being made of leather are comfortable and do not rub into my skin as the metal O rings on both straps also do not cause me any discomfort. The buckle is also strong and sturdy but can be hard to fasten by myself.

The ball gag is comfortable on you’re teeth (if that makes sense) but I did and still do if I haven’t used the gag for a while get jaw ache. I believe the more you use it the more accustomed and comfortable the ball gets but some may struggle to wear it for long periods of time. The ventilation holes are great; I liked being able to wear a gag without the threat of me struggling to breathe, which was the main reason why I had chosen this ball gag. Due to the air holes you may not be able to drool as much as ball gags with no air holes (I know some like mouth gags for this reason) but if you are not too fussed about producing a lot of drool then this gag is great.

I have had this gag now for many years and it has had a lot of use, yet it still is in very good condition. I have since bought new gags to try and they have not stood the test of time as this ball gag has.

The only negative side I can think of to this gag is the cleaning of the inside of the ball which can be a pain but really shouldn’t put you off.

The Bondage Boutique breathable ball gag is great for novices in BDSM but also those who are more advanced. I would highly recommend this ball gag to anyone who is considering purchasing one.

Love honey’s Bondage Boutique breathable ball gag £14.99 (UK Store)

Lovehoney’s Bondage Boutique breathable ball gag $24.99(US Store)

Lovehoney’s Bondage Boutique breathable ball gag $26.95 (AUS Store)

Thank you for reading my blog 🙂

Love Vivienne Pleasure

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