One thing that irritates me, no I should say infuriates me is ‘slut shaming’. I have noticed that in the last couple of years it has become more of a common occurrence in society and I have often seen it displayed in public, social media and even the news.
For those of you who do not know what ‘slut shaming’ is, it is a term that is usually aimed towards a female based on her sexuality and the way she conducts herself (either by clothing, make up or behaviour).
‘Slut shaming’ and I use this term loosely is carried out by males and females and it is basically used as a way to demean and degrade someone.
Last year a certain newspaper reported a female who had given oral sex to a certain amount of men in a night club in Magaluf. What I found funny was that the article focused entirely on her and the undertone was very much ‘slut shaming’. What was worse was the publics comments on this girl, how she was ‘easy’ ‘stupid’ ‘how her parents will be ashamed’ ‘how they would disown her if she was theirs’ and so on. Now that is all well and good but may I ask where the uproar on the males who also participated in this act was. Of course, there were hardly any. Not by the public or media, it was all focused on the girl instead.
Now I understand not everyone would do or agree with what this girl did, I wouldn’t do it myself but surely putting it on front page news is just adding and allowing ‘slut shaming’? The media declared that they only used this story to discuss what was happening in young tourist hot spots but if it was just about that then why the young lady in question was the main focus? Why did she and not the others dominate the whole article(s) about it?
When the media starts to ‘slut shame’ it basically gives a green card for others to follow suit, believing that it is ok to do so and just something a female should expect if she gets ‘out of line’ in her sexual conduct. An old female colleague told me that any woman who just has sex with a man who is not a boyfriend is in terms a ‘slut’ and shouldn’t expect not to be called one. I hoped that her opinion was just a one off but I have often come across similar views since from both sexes.
‘Slut shaming’ is just another form of control over a woman’s sexuality and a dangerous one which not only leaves some in isolation but also creates a skewed concept of what is acceptable and not acceptable to women. I wouldn’t know where to start on ending this term, although I do believe if the media stopped doing so then that might stop most of it. To me if a female chooses to wait for marriage or wants a new man every weekend then that is her choice and neither should be criticised for their choices if it is safe and consensual. I have heard some who say they do so (slut shame) out of concern as the young female could be in danger and as much as I can understand why they are saying this, they are basically now just victim blaming (slut shaming and victim blaming are closely linked) and instead of helping the situation, they are just making it a whole lot more worse.
Of course my opinion is just that, an opinion and I am sure many others will have different opinions on this subject but I really do believe that if we want to progress in society and especially against sexism then we really must stamp out ‘slut shaming’ for good.
Thank you for reading my blog 🙂
Love Vivienne Pleasure